Is Compassion cool?

Success and accomplishment.

Our culture is one of perfectionism. Our idealized selves become our social currency. We portray our perfect lifestyles on Instagram to keep up the appearance of success and accomplishment.

The world has become obsessed with success, productivity, and accomplishment.

It feels like that qualities such as compassion that connects people from the heart and not on social media are forgotten and are not cool. Developing compassion is not something that you hear a lot of people saying they are striving for. Being compassionate is not a quality that is valued by our success-oriented business world and not seen as something a successful entrepreneur should possess, like determination, obsession, goal-oriented productivity, tenacity, passion, self-belief, vision, flexibility, rule-breaking - I could list many others.

The basis for a happy and successful life.

Even though the word is not trendy and often associated as being a sentimental softie, I want to make the argument that compassion is one of the most potent qualities one can develop.

Etymologically compassion comes from the word 'compati' and means co-suffering, I don't think that's the best interpretation of it. If we define the term more like a non-judgemental openness towards our own and others, compassion becomes more powerful. It doesn't mean any more to jump into the dark whole with someone to show our compassion; it means that we see and assess the situation and find a solution to get someone out of it, even if that means the person in the dark hole is us. In my opinion, the 'Active Compassion' or 'Caring Wisely' would fit better.

Why do I think it's worthy to strengthen compassion?

Here are three reasons why:

1. Compassion is the basis for 'real' fearlessness (not the macho-kind so many of us falsely mistake for it).
The more you can allow, accept, and feel what's really going on within your inner world - even if you experience anxiety, pain, uncertainty, lack of self-esteem, or any other unwelcomed feeling - the more fearless and resilient you will become. You will develop something I call a 'Courageous Heart.' Someone with a 'Courageous Heart' can face his 'inner challenges' with compassion, that means he's able to accept his feelings without pushing them away or drowning them with alcohol, drugs, being on social media for hours, or any other unhealthy coping mechanisms or addictions.

I'm not saying it's easy to do, for many of us it's a life-long pursuit and requires in some cases the help of a professional. But what I'm saying is that it's worth an attempt that starts in most cases with a quiet moment, - where you 'Login to yourself' - without any distractions where we take a couple of breaths and ask ourselves "How do I really feel?" and wait for our body to give us an answer.

2. Compassion is the best relaxant.
"Compression takes the pressure off." When you can accept that things don't always turn out perfect and that you can't always feel perfect, life becomes easier. If you can tell yourself that it is OK to feel all the unpleasant things you experience, you relax. That doesn't mean the uncomfortable feelings go away, but they for sure have less power over you. It's like pressure cooker valve that just has been released.

3. Compassion is like oil that keeps things running smoothly.
Compassion is like the oil that seems to solve all of our conflicts and make our life's flow. It puts a layer over our disturbing emotions like anger, jealousy, aversion, and many others, and smoothes the bad experiences and stresses they cause.

You might ask but what about compassion for others? Compassion for others starts with the compassion for yourself! If you can accept your feelings and what's going on in your inner world you will be able to accept what others feel and express and thereby be able to help them.

There's so much more to say about why compassion is a very desirable quality to strengthen, I will do that in one of my next posts. You can try a simple Compassion Meditation here.

To come back to the beginning, where I've asked: Is Compassion cool?
It would say, if compassion makes us more resilient, fearless, and enables us to handle life's challenges better - then absolutely - YES!